Sweet and Sour

Good Saturday, dear reader, we are now into our second week of the fasting month. I trust that you are having pure thoughts during daylight and sweet nothings whispered in your ears after dusk.

It has been a sweet and sour week, a week of punishment deferred, a week of rationing and some rationalising as health meets wealth and, as ever, the two dancing that inevitable duelling dance of titans.

Just a thought, to get the old grey brains cell whizzing - If justice deferred is justice denied, just what is punishment deferred – in that, we can but wonder at man’s logic.

While a certain former model now languishes as she waits for her punishment, on the East Coast of our glorious land, is it not time to take a step back and consider - what on earth is actually going on in this confused country.

Infamous philologist Friedrich Nietzsche, whom some (half) wit rhymed with peachy, suggested - “All in all, punishment hardens and renders people more insensible; it concentrates; it increases the feeling of estrangement; it strengthens the power of resistance.”

Is this really the intention of not only a senseless punishment but also a senselessly deferred punishment.

The sweetness of this model’s unexpected return to the bosom of her family, after being led away a hero, martyr for her cause, is marred, necessarily, by the deferment, rather than cancellation, of her obscene punishment.

No doubt, those making such decisions are wishing that the whole matter would now just go quietly away, especially as the eyes of the world seem to swivel towards this ludicrous case, and, quite possibly, the international reputation of this country resting on this matter too.

Elbert Hubbard, that grand American writer, on hearing of the above, might have pointedly remarked; punishment – The justice that the guilty deal out to those that are caught.

It has been a hog of a week. It has been the most swinish of weeks, a week in which there have been overt concerns with influenza of the porcine variety, of masks and masquerades of officialdom. A week, in which, potential two or three-ply paper mask wearers are saved the ignominy of exploitation by unscrupulous entrepreneurs, who sought to make a fast buck out of the fears of ordinary people, prone to wearing such items.

Mercifully, those protective masks now have a price fixed , with a ceiling imposed preventing further exploitation of the people’s paranoia.

It has been a week concerned over the most flagrant of conspiracy theories. In their narratives, these theories have mooted involvement with our good ole friends the American CIA, and the bioengineering of weapons-grade swine influenza, now popularly called H1 N1.

Some scientifically inclined individuals suggest that the present H1N1 might be human-engineered and similar to other pathogens - Ebola and HIV/AIDS in transmission vectors, which throw doubt upon the natural occurrence of these diseases.

Stories suggest, that certain laboratories are encouraged to churn out viruses with weapons potential to be used in future conflicts; as they have a much greater targeting specificity over more conventional weapons. Conventional weapons, with their great capacity to obliterate anything, awkwardly tend to mess up property as well as people. Awkward, that is, if you intend to occupy said property, or salvage items of worth, as many thoughtful, mindful soldiers have done - just for their safe keeping mind.

With this information firmly fixed in mind, perhaps people of a nervous disposition should refrain from watching Neil Marshall’s post apocalyptic British film –Doomsday (2008), at least until this current outbreak is over.

While some people may still view social networking sites, such as Facebook, Twitter and Myspace, as being sad refuges for pathetic lonely people, perhaps, at present, they are the safest way to interact with fellow travellers. Especially so if Malaysia undergoes the same intensity of H1 N1 outbreak as Mexico did, where only but essential services were allowed to operate because of the risk of spreading infection.

Nevertheless, fear not. If you do not have the swine flu virus, and seem unlikely to get it because you spend more time than is strictly necessary on those aforementioned social networking sites, you can always over indulge your taste for all things sweet - and get diabetes.

In this holy month of Ramadan many thoughts turn, obviously, to kuih, air bandung, teh tarik and a veritable cornucopia of wonderfully sweet, teeth rotting edibles and drinkables too; for during this sugary month more sugar is consumed in Malaysia than it is in the rest of the year. To aid in the manufacture of delectable, but deadly, items, copious amounts of refined sugar are required, with many households in the habit of purchasing in bulk.

This being so, the government, being patriarchal and nanny-like, have placed regulations on the movement of sugar between states, thereby restructuring the existing distribution network, confusing bees, ants and the odd official or three.

This measure, seemingly, is to prevent the annual hoarding of sugar. Mind you, without strict guidelines regarding what is hoarding of sugar, chaos ensues - I guess governmental minions will just make it up as they go along, as usual.

A further, yet allied, government initiative, from the Domestic Trade, Cooperative and Consumerism Ministry has been constructed, obviously, to discourage ideas of love thy neighbour and instead prosper concepts of tattling, spying upon your neighbour.

This is to reward spies, bringing news of hoarding sugar, with a grand prize up to RM10,000 for the sneaky fifth columnists. It is nice, is it not, to know that our blessed government has monies to spare to give to snitches, tell-tales, sneak thieves, instead of buying schoolchildren books.

It has been a healthily unhealthy week. Sweet nothings almost became nothing sweet to take at berbuka puasa in this health conscious week; a week when the only safe type of interaction may have been through the internet and social networking, unless you managed to purchase a paper mask with a capped price, that is.

Write On

(Or the cold hard truth about writing)

Many people have asked me what it is like to be a writer - what advice would I give to aspiring writers, well read on....

Writing is not a profession, it may, possibly, be a craft, seldom an art, but more often than not it is a vocation.

In Latin, vocation means a calling, aligned with notions and concepts of talent and having a ‘gift’ to do or perform certain tasks. To have a vocation for writing, effectively means that you have the will to write, and a desire to write to be read.

To become a writer takes a mammoth amount of discipline and hard practice. Like any other craft you have to constantly practice, this improves your skills and helps you master your chosen means of communicating with the external world.

Feedback from peers is one useful means of improving your skills, another is comparing your work with others in the field of writing you admire, or wish to get into. This applies equally to writing ‘literature’ as it does to ‘hack’ writing.

However, be warned, writing is seldom glamorous, except for the elite. It is frequently very hard work, with very little to show, finically, at the end.

If it is your desire, eventually, to write for newspaper or magazines, be warned that there is very little money in taking that particular course.

Newspapers either hire a writer onto the staff, or hire freelance writers. A staff writer is a dogsbody, paid a poor basic wage and gets very little credit for their work. The highest achievement a staff writer can attain is the ‘by-line’, that is having your name added to the work you have had published with your newspaper/magazine. To improve your lot you have to consider becoming a ‘sub’ (sub-editor) or indeed an editor.

Freelance writing for newspapers and magazines is poorly paid, and risky. Risky in the sense that, without a definitive contract which guarantees your work to be published the publication can decide, at a whim, whether to publish your hard work or not.

Even with a contract, the contractual wording can be such that the publication is favoured, not you. Some contracts will include a clause whereby they, your paymasters, can drop you from their ranks anytime they feel like.

Working for magazines and newspapers, on a freelance basis, often means not being paid for all the hard work – research, writing and editing, you have done. Therefore, despite being arduous, stressful, and frequently hard-pressed work, it is not a stable income.

In Malaysia, the fees for freelance articles vary from a mere RM100 up to RM1,000 an article, dependent upon the journal, the length of the article and the generosity of the publication you are writing for.

Newspapers in Malaysia pay between RM200 for 1,000 words, to RM250 for 600 words. Some newspapers pay per article, others by column centimetre/inch. Some magazines pay per word, some a set fee for an article and this can vary largely. One Malaysian magazine pays 50c per word, meaning a 2,000 word article pays RM1,000 while another will only pay RM250 for a set 600 word article.

Literary writing, in Malaysia, is even worse, financially. For short stories, the work is normally longer than for articles, anywhere between 3,000 to 6,000 words, with the research and writing taking days and weeks, rather than the hours spent for newspaper/magazine articles.

Placement for short stories is scarce in Malaysia, with very few publications, outside of anthologies, taking them. So competition is fierce, and publisher’s editors picky.

Financially, writing short stories, for publication in Malaysia, is a disaster. Some editors expect your work free, offering only one copy of the printed anthology in return for 3,000 – 6,000 words and many weeks, if not months, of work undertaken. Others can offer between RM100 – RM500 for a short story.

In Malaysia, it seems to be the case that payment is a one off, for a written story. Few, if any, publishers offer a percentage deal, or royalties on short stories. Once paid, the writer will get nothing extra even if the anthology their work is in is a best seller, or not. Therefore, there is little incentive for the writer to promote the book in which their work is featured.

The writer does all book signings, readings at popular events, radio /TV promotion and newspaper interviews - free, for nothing, with no other incentives offered by publishers, in Malaysia. Unfortunately, travel to such events as readings, and other promotional activities, comes out of the writer’s pocket too. A short story writer may be seriously out of pocket by having their work published.

If you feel, after reading the above, that you still want to be a writer then maybe, just maybe you have what it takes.

What does it take – a lot of hard work, dedication, perseverance, practice, the ability to take and use constructive criticism, and the energy not only to write but to engage in all that which associated with writing too.

A writer, who respects themselves, and their work, will not let it go lightly. However, it is frequently the case while working commercially, that you are at the mercy of unscrupulous publishers or editors - who habitually want something for nothing. This is something that all writers will have to consider, and deal with in their own way.

School kids issue

AUG 22 — This week saw welcome rain in the desert I call home. Every day now, for the past few afternoons, there has been rain, cooling, wonderful rain, plant watering rain, but along with the rain came the scary flashing lightning, tumultuous thunder and, occasionally, lack of internet.

It is the same with all matters; you take the good with the bad, the yin accompanying the yang, the black and the white, and, even when applying this dictum to the vagaries of our children’s education — the highs and the lows. Along with a zenith of studiousness, learning, winning of accolades enters the nadir of oppression, poor standards and careless callousness.

These are the obverse and the reverse of the spinning educational coin, supposedly there to give our children a start in life and edge them gently into society, if only we, the sensible ones, the grown-ups, could finally decide how exactly this is to be done without the dangerous and disheartening flip-flopping of seemingly irrational educational policy.

It would have been an unforgivable thundering cliché were I to begin this week with Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall — No dark sarcasm in the classroom, teachers leave those kids alone - so, here instead...

TV diner by the pool, watch your brother grow a beard, got another year at school, you’re okay, he’s too weird, be a plumber, he’s a bummer, he’s a bummer every summer, be a loyal plastic robot, for a world that doesn’t care, that’s right — The Mothers of Invention.

It has been an educational week, a week of children, their ups, their downs, and a bookish week. It has been a week, in which, students have been discouraged from becoming chess pieces. Perhaps not even domino pieces or, indeed, pieces on the ultimate black and white board of draughts, either.

One wise minister, speaking at a Senior Police Officers College in Cheras, urged students not to become pawns, or cajoled into street demonstrations, which he considered unhealthy and illegal.

One wonders just how many of these particular students, at the police college, would have been tempted to the dark side and been likely to take part in illegal demonstrations, other than on the side of law and order, that is. Alternatively, maybe, there is some secret dissent among student police officers, a dissent so threatening to our beloved land that the minister, in his wisdom, felt compelled to spread his soothing words to prevent a gross storm from rising from the ranks.

Perhaps the minister in question — the deputy Home Minister no less, was tacitly acknowledging the bellow par intelligence of many police officers, insomuch as he sees them as highly susceptible to influence, and may easily be led astray.

Possibly said susceptible police officers, would have benefited no end from having greater access to foreign books, while they were at school. Luckily, The British Malaysian Society has donated nearly two thousand books to twenty schools, here in Malaysia.

A spokesperson said that the books in question are sorted according to category and reading level. I do hope this is not official doublespeak for checked to see if they are on the banned list. There are currently at least 1,458 books on this ignominious list of books banned in Malaysia.

But, just to make sure that students, who may receive some of these checked and approved books, attend school, college, university the Education Ministry has ordered that the inglorious Anti-truancy task force to be reactivated.

As if there were not enough self-important government and religious goons wandering the streets seeking fresh prey – and getting perverse kicks out of espying and reporting on young girls drinking beer or amorous couples amorously coupling, now we have a return to this. What with the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission, the moral police and their obnoxious spies, the regular police, the Police Field Force et al, now there is the return of the school police. Kids — beware of all tall school buildings.

At least these children, cute enough to survive with their natural parents, or attractive enough to be adopted, according to the Women, Family and Community Development Minister, might succeed in life. Even though they may be forced to go to school by the Anti-truancy task force, they will have the opportunity to study hard and enter into such competitions as the RHB New Straits Times Spell-It-Right National Challenge 2009, if, that is, their school is not closed due to Swine Flu.

While at school, unless closed as mentioned above, children may learn the miracle of birth — first hand. That is, if any more newborn babies are abandoned in school toilets, like the one in Pokok Seni this last week, or the other discovered in a religious school in Gurun. I have to admit that I do believe in the benefits of early learning, but maybe this is taking things a little too far, I fear.

Students, eventually graduating from school and college, might find themselves drawn to the various aspects of design, or maybe printmaking. One most lucrative graphic design and printmaking avenues, seems to have been the production of bogus travel documentation and passports.

The Kuala Lumpur Immigration Department nabbed forgers in Pandan Indah, this previous week, and confiscated up to 30 passports, rubber stamps and accompanying phoney documentation, along with fake weapon permits and driving licenses. If those rapscallion counterfeiters had put their diligence and skills to legitimate concerns, just imagine what they could have achieved.

That, ultimately is what education is for, to teach –yes, to inform – yes, to facilitate learning – yes, but also to nurture innate gifts and ensure that those gifts, once fruitful are fruitful for society as well as for the individual.

Remember boys and girls, not to take part in any naughty street demonstrations, use your powers for good, and do not turn to the dark side not even if offered a pretty glowing light sabre. Go to school, attend classes and hope that the government bogeyman does not get you.